Twenty five years ago, "Middle Age Man" and his sidekick Drinking Buddy were on a short lived Saturday Night Live series. Friends gave me a special "MIDDLE AGE MAN" t-shirt for my 50th birthday. At that time in life, like "Middle Age Man", I was trying to stay ahead of the mid- life creep of age; just trying to stay physically fit. It was the perfect gift at the perfect time.
Back then, my bride Forever Younger Woman, and I would crawl out of bed before the sun came up to do our half jog, half walk & talk venting exercises. Sometimes, I'd bolt ahead of Forever Younger Woman with my black P. F. KEDS burning rubber, just like "Middle Age Man". Completing one long city block seemed like miles to me. If I got that far, as a courtesy, I'd pull off to the side and wait for her.
Those were the years my middle age brain would worry about money. Being the father of three young girls, who doesn't?
Could we justify buying our #1 cherub Girbaud jeans? Could we find an affordable, socially acceptable used mini van for her to haul her friends in? Then what about the college thing? She felt that the further away she went to school, the better student she would be.
As we aged, mini jogs reverted to power walks. Power walkers kick up dust on the trail doing a modified duck walk as they thrust their extended fists aggressively forward. The power walkers we passed in the darkness seemed unfriendly. Reminded me of zombies from some old black & white TV show.
Anyway, I didn't have the time to greet them. I was too busy trying to figure out how to replace a crashed minivan for #2 daughter. First I had to get it off the curb without having to pay a fine for illegal parking. Then I'd have to have it towed to our to our house to figure out how to have it hauled away. God, there were times that our driveway looked like a scene from Sanford and Sons,
Our hopes for financial relief later rested on daughter #3. In dad's dream, she was going to be our jockette and get a basketball scholarship. I installed a backboard 20 ft. high on a pole set in concrete on a at the end of our driveway. The rim was 4 times taller than she was. Even Kareem couldn't dunk at that height. She got a little discouraged about her WNBA potential, but found her passion in the scholarshipless sport of choir.
A few years later, I was able to justify my rush on installing the 'bball contraption by telling people I erected it to prevent teenage drivers from running into my hi-tech storage shed
MIDDLE AGE MAN:
"I'M WORKING ON IT,
I'M WORKING ON IT!"
So fast forward 25 years. Most of those early concerns are well behind Older Man and Forever Younger Woman. We still walk alot - sometimes for exercise, sometimes just stroll and talk. Most of our mid life worries are long gone. Most worked out pretty good. Give it a good B+.
Coming up too quick on 75, I can reflect on the fact that I'm a blessed man having the most valued treasures one can hope for. Thanks to all those special people, family and friends who have been a part of the workout!😎
Oh sorry, I almost forget to tell you about the shirt. At this age, brain farts occur more frequently.