Thursday, December 24, 2009

my first time!!!!

OK, you might assume by the title that I'm just a 16 year old male who had sex for the first time in my parents minivan and now I need to tell my buddies about it. If that had happened, I'd be busy wiping down the upholstery in the old Town & Country to remove any suspicious DNA rather than punching the keys on this word processor. I wouldn't be telling my buddies either, because I'm a little older and wiser than that now. That doesn't help you in your future pursuits.

The reality is that I'm an old guy. Yes, I even have grey hair, what's left of it and I retired December 31st. Like lots of others from my time warp, I think of De Javu as a CS&N song, not a famous strip club. I don't text and when my daughter texts under the table while out for a nice dinner that I'm paying for, I see myself as living in some offbeat 3rd world mecca having her texting hand sawed off with her steak knife. Nothing personal you understand. My daughter and I see things like that differently. We used to call that the "generation gap". Google it if you're confused.

So as my work career has come to a halt, I find myself reaching really deep in search of new ways to humor myself, not necessarily you. Attempting blogging is risky for me because I got a D in Creative Writing way back when papers were handwritten and if that instructor were alive today, she'd probably suggest I volunteer to work the bingo tables on the nursing home circuit. Problem is, I had a D in math too.

Given that, I won't be helping seniors with their taxes either. However, I do faithfully read the "Onion", so I thought humorous blogging might work. Took me awhile, but I named it "Green Scallions" -- get it? like green (new to this; a novice) onion (another name for a green onion). Hope that didn't slide right past you.

My humor is slightly sick, but not down in the gutter sick. I tend to see things, read things, and experience things that with some embellishment can make for fun reading. OK, fun writing for me if you don't like the way it reads. Flip side is, there's a part of me that may chance tackling some more serious stuff, like my recent colonoscopy.

So if this is kind of like "freedom of the press", I guess I'm OK to write it. The freedom for you is you don't have to read it. Later!!!

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