It's been just a few days since I went to Senior Day at the Minnesota State Fair with a number of my ripe friends. I apologize for the delay on this report, but ever since the Fair most of my time has been spent monitoring my LDL cholesterol level, heart rate, and a big bulge in one of my main arteries that turned out to be nothing more than a slow moving cheese curd working through the cardio expressway. I really feared if something happened to me while writing this wrap up earlier, I might have missed out on a posthumous blog award.
Not to brag or anything, but our "Great Minnesota Cholesterol Festival" is famous worldwide. One of the best they say. Maybe not bigger than Texas, but better. We're number one! The best livestock, machinery, rides, exhibits, horticulture and FOOOOOOD. This is not the place you come for Lean Cuisine on a stick or to suck a Skinny Cow. Nope, none of that. This is the mother of high fat food, located on 320 acres in St. Paul, Minnesota.
For 14 days ending Labor Day at midnight, stealth young studs and voluptuous Victoria's secrets start bloating within hours of ingesting large orders of blooming onion rings washed down with a super sized chocolate malt. Rather than trying to sneak past the "Guess Your Girth Gertrude" stand, fair goers nowadays stand in line gleefully to total their tonnage. Why not? If the experts misguess your weight by 5 lbs., you win a family size can of Minnesota's miracle meat, SPAM! Great snack on your night drive back to Ortonville.
For Seniors, a day at the fair can be very tense if we over indulge on the good bad goodies. With the heat and humidity, loose bladders, and the angst of finding the right bus home, side affects can be extremely intimidating. We AARPers have to worry about dehydration, stress on the aging original or replacement heart, bad hips & knees, brain farts, along with normal methane gas (both quiet or amped), incontinence, impotence, and whatever else I forgot to mention and forgot. Maybe it sounds a little paranoid, but seniors must plan for any and all possible problems at Minnesota's Great Get Together as the Council for the Aging suggests.
So, if you're coming out to the Fair yet this year, be kind to us oldies. Someday, if lucky, you'll be able join the mass of geezers and get discounted tickets and perks on Senior Day.