It is rumored that the basketball star who sports the tattoo of "BIG LOVE" on his left arm, is considering a last minute compromise proposed by school officials allowing him to return to the team in time to lead them to the "Big Dance". Talk in sports circles is that the BYU Viking Booster Club arranged for a special forgiveness amendment to the "Honour Code" allowing "Big Love" a free pass to play in the Tourney. One sports guru claims that if he agrees to play, "he has to to have his tattoo sanded off at the end of the season, or his left arm amputated if sanding fails". It's assumed that due to his unwavering religious beliefs he'll take the deal even though there is no guarantee he'll be able to play next season.
Interestingly enough, there appears to be a double standard at the University where the leadership's fire and brimstone has shifted to the computer geek, praying that the nerd will take the heat off the school's athletic program. According to the student run newspaper, The Leaky Wick, "the unnamed insignificant geek is in 'deep du du' having become the sacrificial lamb while the soiled jock smells more like a rose".
The Leaky Wick stated, "This poor geek soul will be cleansed according to the the Code which states 'To get the premarital male sex offender back into the fold the guilty guy will be sentenced to a life of drinking nothing more than what is joked about by guys at the U as 'The Failed Male Ale' - white milk mixed with large doses of SALTPETER"!!!!
In the past "The Failed Male Ale" was used only for healing in limited doses per the Code when DNA testing of sheets in dorms indicated that a male student might be thinking about sex. Seeing as this is the first time life sentences for premarital sex will be given at the school, no one is willing to speak to the long term affects of using the saltpeter solution.
"Honest to God,
I Just Can't Help Myself, Sometimes"!!!!