Fiery "Red" Pepper Rallying the Seniors
Known as "Red" for his his fiery red hair and his leftist views, Pepper served as a member of the United States House of Representatives from 1962 until is death in 1989. He was a long time champion for the elderly and many times was referred to in Congress as "Mr. Social Security". He was also the driving force in passing a bill early in his career allowing older Florida residents to fish without a license, which many people might not remember.
As the graying population grows and the Social Security war chest shrinks, members of all parties of Congress, even Democrats who have supported this entitlement for years, have joined ranks in putting total blame on Pepper. Ranking Democratic member of the Senate, Senator Harry Reid believes he and any other current and past members of Congress, "will be exonerated of any wrong doing involving the Social Security system, including doing nothing". Current Congressional members from all parties have been reported to be "down right giddy, almost childish" giving high fives after bathroom breaks to opposition party members without having washed their hands".
In the meantime, thousands of seniors in Florida have taken to the hiking trails and boardwalks in protesting the censuring of a cloned "Red". In a show of solidarity, thousands have been seen marching 10 abreast on the Miami Boardwalk at a speed even slower than their normal slow. The picture wasn't pretty. Dressed in red speedos with gold chains around their hairy grey chests, the Viagra stuntmen strutted side by side with the bikini clad pruned skinned ladies chanting "Keep Red Dead".
The organizers of the "Keep Red Dead" movement foresee their numbers swelling come January when millions of peaked scrawny legged snow birds make their way south. Reminders of the "Keep Red Dead" movement are to be mailed along with December Social Security checks, assuming there's any money left in the fund.
"If more politicians in this country were thinking about the next generation instead of the next election, it might be better for the United States and the world" - quote Representative Claude Pepper a long, long time ago