Take for example, Mitt Romney. Good looking guy like me, but with hair (actually reminds me of a Grecian 44 commercial) He's way too smooth, polished, monied. I'm from Milwaukee originally. Can't say the religion thing bothers me. I've never been able to afford more than one wife, so that's not an issue. I was a Lieberman supporter in '04. (VOTE: NO -- CANNOT RELATE TO!)
Michael Bachman. I'm not against having a woman for president, but for that reason alone I can't relate to her. Kind of a paradox though, cause I am married to a woman. Bachman is hot! (not as hot as my wife though). I'm sure she's a nice woman, loves to dance, gets along well with other women and has a Facebook page. But Michelle doesn't friend me so why should I follow her. We have nothing in common other than we both live in Minnesota so we share cold weather and high taxes. (VOTE: NO -- CANNOT RELATE TO!)
Herman Cain: I've never had any under the table dealings with women in recent years (outside of my wife). Only time I've been involved in the restaurant business was when I delivered "Chicken Delight" in Milwaukee after I had flunked out of college. Obvious we are from different ethnic backgrounds, but I voted for Obama. Major political Achilles tendon -- I think he's a distant relative of Mac Cain who got thumped by Barack in '08. (VOTE; NO -- CANNOT RELATE TO!)
There may be others, but what about Dick Perry? Even though he lost it on national TV a few nights back, I think voters of my age, the senior block of AARP age (55 and older) can relate to him. I can identify with Nick. You see, this powerful block of older voters can relate to anyone who has an embarrassing brain fart and then can't remember what it was. He proved that on the Letterman Show linked below:
So Rick doesn't remember well. Neither do seniors -- aging women forget where they left their husbands in the malls. We loose our cars in the mall parking lots and can't remember how to operate the "horn blower" on the key. We forget our Social Security numbers when someone is patiently waiting to steal our identification. My list of forgets is so long I can't remember most of them. Sometimes we tie strings around our fingers to remind ourselves to go to the toilet.
So I'm going to get one of those "Don't Forget to Vote (FOR BERRY!) " buttons and distribute a bunch out at the local senior center. If all the silver haired women and grey haired, balding male AARPies did the same thing then there would be the most lopsided presidential election next fall since Goldwater beat that Democrat guy somewhere back then.
Yes, I do relate to what's his name!!! So can you old farts relate to old what's his face?? More important will you be able to remember where to vote, when to vote, how to vote in the primaries early next year????
Please print a copy of this and take it along with you to your primary polling station noting you're name, address, and emergency contact in case you can't figure out how to find your way home.
Remember, it's PERRY! If you can't remember it, try to remember a rhyming word -- berry, cherry, dairy, fairy, hairy, jerry, kerry (woops), larry,mary, nary, scary, terry, very, wary!