Friday, January 24, 2014

Minnesotas 100 Days of Decent Weather Due to Arrive May 15th

Dear Citizens of Minnesota : weather you like it or not don't plan on seeing any picture perfect days until May 15th. Then we officially kick off those 120 days of decent weather referred to by the National Weather Service here as our second season --- Sprummertumn. See, Minnesota no longer has four seasons - just two; eight months of winter and a four months of what used to be late spring, summer, and early fall (or autumn) merged together into Sprummertumn (if you are confused by the name, sound it out fool: Spr: spring, ummer: summer, tumn: autumn =
SPRUMMERTUMN!)

Today is April 21st. Twenty one days back all of our Easter bunnies perished in the snow drifts. I was reminded by my weather weary wife that Punxsutawney Phil did not see his shadow back in February predicting an early spring. Now that town is being sued for making false claims.

Three days back we had over 6 inches of wet heavy snow and today more white stuff is on the way . Confused birds are falling from the sky for not having their wings deiced before flying into our air space. There are no closeout deals on snowshoes at Dicks.

If all this sounds vaguely familiar, please remember that "we told you so" in 2011 when Scallions climatologists first wrote of the two season concept. So if you aren't depressed yet, put on your old '45 record or listen to the youtube linked here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xeNAgBFmJpM of the Jamie's one hit wonder of Summertime, Summertime, Sum Sum Summertime substituting the words SPRUMMERTUMN. Keep the faith and remember that Severe Seasonal 'Sotan Affective Disorder only lasts 8 months here!!!