Monday, April 1, 2013

VERDICT IN ON SPEEDING GRANNY IN SOUTHERN MINNESOTA

FROM THE EDITOR OF GREEN SCALLIONS:

Wire services have just confirmed the complete dismissal of charges against Spacey Lacy, the woman arrested in southern Minnesota 4 times on I-90 within hours. Details to follow ----


TO OUR READERS: WE HAVE JUST RECEIVED THE FOLLOWING MESSAGE FROM SPACEY GIVING US "THE REST OF THE STORY":

To all my followers and fans:

I am innocent. I am innocent. Well, a victim as you know, who was proven innocent. Shows that the justice system is not blind even if Scallions can't see the forest through the trees.

After reviewing all the facts, prosecutors decided to drop all charges against me. Seems the confiscated "trace of marijuana" never made it to the evidence room at the County Jail and those Happy Chef thieves were caught red handed with my CD's and confessed to tampering with my cruise control. I will be seeking damages from Happy Chef for the loss of my tunes.

In a letter of apology from the Minnesota Highway Department, they indicated they are planning on installing heated one hole outhouses alongside the high tech rest stop facilities, just in case the plumbing were to freeze up again. I do feel somewhat vindicated, but I am demanding damages for my soiled dress

The City of Worthington has been very pleased with the publicity they've gotten from my story. Reports have it that the Mayor is submitting a profile of the greater metro area to the authors of "1000 Places to See Before you Die" , hoping to be chosen for the 2014 reprint.

The Pamida store in Worthington has offered me a women's fashion consulting gig and Mastercard has indicated they'd be interested in using my experiences with my maxed out card in future TV ads.

Residents of both Jackson and Nobles county will be voting later this spring to legalize marijuana for medicinal purposes. There is a line in the proposal which makes complete sense to me which states "because you're stuck living here justifies usage for marajuna for whatever you deem to be medicinal reason(s)".

As you know I never did make it to grandaughter Terra's "Teens in Tierras" dance competition that fateful day. I will never forgive myself for missing her stellar performance.  Terra placed 3rd, out of 4 contestants. Due to family priorities, I am relocating to Racine where I've accepted a job as a driving instructor.

I'd like to thank you all again (except Scallions) for believing in me.


EDITORS FINAL COMMENTS:

Rarely do I eat crow and ask for forgivness,  but in this instance I have to apologize to "Go Granny".

I do remember many times as a young cub reporter having to drive through this frozen winter wasteland to get the story. Even though I wasn't a pothead like her, I can remember a cold winters day I swear seeing an albino jackalope hopping across the snow covered Interstate near the border of Minnesota and South Dakota.

Therefore Scallions reverses our earlier judgement and awards "Spacey" a free subscription to www.greenscallions.blogspot.com through 2013.


SCROLL DOWN FOR PRIOR RELEASES ON SPACEY

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