It seems like just yesterday that I started playing winter senior softball in the Twin Cities. Recently retired in '11, the Lil' Mrs. strongly suggested I tried to get buff. Well, it's been a long run around the bases, with more than my share of bone headed plays. So thanks to all the players from West Metro who've overlooked my few deficiencies along the way. Hope you enjoy this satirical lookback through my eyes .
Thursday, February 13, 2014
SCALLIONS STAFF FINDS NO TRACE OF POLAR VORTEX ON KAUAI
Just returned yesterday after spending10 days on Kauai. Of course this was a business trip, a fact finding mission on the affects of the Polar Vortex on the Hawaiian Islands. My bride and Scallion's treasurer who changed her name to Princess Uhataakmeatua while in the planning stages of the trip, told me that we might be able write this off, new clothes and all, if she sounded more official while travelling with me under this alias.
Not that this trip wasn't fun for me, but it can get boring - same temps everyday, same ocean to look at, and just two swimsuits to choose from. The closest I came to finding any trace of the Polar Vortex was when fog set in half way up the Wiamena Canyon Road. I asked a local on the road if he knew anything about the Polar Vortex, spelling it out letter by letter. He kept asking why there were no H's, K's, W's in Polar Vortex. He flashed what appeared to be a gang hand signal in my directions, which Princess Uhataakemeatua told me was no more that the friendly native thumb/pinky finger symbol of saying "hang loose"
Back in Minnesota it sounds as if the Polar Vortex is receding and the Eskimos and Woolly Mammoths who had come to Minnesota to get out of the bad weather are now heading back up 'nord.
But Sven and Ole are still in Minnesota, truly representing our state in the link below. Please youse cheeseheads from Wisconsin, don't be jealous now! You had more talent than we 'Sotans do to have come up with an idea like this first: