Wednesday, November 15, 2017

DOMEBALL - THE EXTREME SPORT OF SENIOR SOFTBALL DURING MINNESOTA WINTERS

Where does 6 years go?  Seems like just yesterday I received my baptismal rites at Domeball. If you're planning on coming over to watch the acrobats of Cirque du Domeil perform, here's what's in store for you.

This place is an out of body experience!! As a player. I was drafted;  no, coerced into playing Domeball by a friend of a friend and my spouse. My friend thought I'd have fun. My wife just wanted to get me out of her house on those brutal Minnesota winter days.  Thinking back, I should have quit after my first game to save all of us the embarrassment. Still, as I found out, even the best players can get bested by the beasts of the dome 😡😬😡😨😭😱!!!!!!!!!

The dome is like no other softball field. You need to have gymnastics skills to survive. The hi tech overhead lighting is a do-it-yourself eye test for cataracts. All fly balls are in play. That includes balls hit off the ceiling, off the walls. The dome takes the sport of softball to a new level challenging the many talented athletes in this group.

SO HERE ARE A FEW HELPFUL HINTS FOR VISITORS:

1) Don't dress to impress: Oh sure, we've got a few players who sport UA, Nike duds. None of these guys have official sponsors so don't be in awe.  Most prefer the groad clothes shown below left.





Oh, if you are looking for of a changing room like the pros, forget it! Shown on the right is our unisex changing area.  No lockers, private changing rooms, showers, etc. What you see is what you get.



2) Arriving at the Dome:  The restrooms 🚻 are off to the right as you enter the Star Dome, so if you're a little nervous, best get it out of your system. Wash your hands when done!! We welcome you with hi fives and handshakes. Then we share bats, play catch.  So don't create a Dome norovirus! 

The dome itself is now just a few steps to the west. Enter through the revolving door (shown below left). Stop about 1/4 rotation in, look left,  and proceed with caution. There's a table to the left (shown on pic on right which might confuse you by now) which sometimes blocks a ball hit hard to short right field. If the table fails to do it's job, the ball may enter the revolving door and hit you. The ball is in play. You might even get knocked over by a fielder hurtling the failed backstop. Get out of the way! Your ignorance could cost a team the game, even the season. You don't want to be that guyπŸ™ˆ!






ENTER AT YOUR 

OWN RISK!

WELCOME TO 

😱

DOMEBALL




Once you feel safe, move sharply through the revolving door. When you're out the door, you're still in fair territory, but now on the phony grass part of the playing field. Hustle up! Move rapidly to the left along the wall. Notice two grey garbage cans. One is strictly for trash, the other is clearly marked with red arrow shown below. The one with the red arrow represents the foul line. Don't get the cans confused. It should be obvious to even visitors that the can with the red arrow is the foul line, although there are no painted lines on the field to make it official.  Makes sense, right?  Never, ever move the red arrow cans, even if it's overflowing with trash! Then hustle over to the changing area where you can meet and greet the players, flatter them by asking for autographs, etc.


β₯£

↑
                               

RED ARROW CANS SHOWN ABOVE INDICATE FOUL LINE. CANS CAN'T BE MOVED BY ANYONE OTHER THAN THE COMMISSIONER ! 



3):Don't look up too quickly. Give your eyes a chance to adjust: The lighting in the dome is scary. There are approximately seventy 1000 watts bulbs magnifying our great plays and our greater screw ups. It's very easy to loose track of the yellow ball in the lights hanging from the dingy white roof.  Sometimes a lazy fly ball hits the top of the dome which in turn sets off a chain reaction. The ball picks up speed on the way down like a laser beam being sent down from the Evil Empire. Even worse, it's when the ball shatters one of the lights in the galaxy far, far above. Then, there's  a stellar explosion of shards of glass which could take out a player(s)  Then we cover our heads, pray, and run like hell to the nearest emergency exit!!! Remember, you are just a visitor; get in line and wait your turn. Players exit first!!!

PRE GAME TEAM CATARACT CHECKUP😎




4: Other lesser concerns: We play on older artificial turf. Sometime it's hard to tell if the black flecks laying around are part of the turf or from mice. If you see a cat roaming around, that should give you a hint. We are also on a main approach to MSP. The skirting on the base of the dome walls flap and howl in a strong wind, and there's an active freight train line which just outside the left field wall that announces itself with a sickly sounding horn as it rumbles by. Any one, or a combination of the these unexpected gremlins will give you the feeling that Armageddon has arrived. Dome temps for early morning games aren't much better than the outside temps, so layering your clothing is a smart idea. I mean, after all this is Minnesota. Love it or leave it!









DETACH INFO BELOW AND BRING ALONG AS YOUR DOME TOUR TICKET

                               
                                       
                                                                                                                   








                                                                                                               
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
                                                                                                                   


DOMEBALL



✈   βœˆ

TO MSP 
     
      ✈
        BALL HITS CEILING, PICKING UP SPEED AS IT DROPS


                                       β–Άβ— β— β— β— β— β— β— β— β— β— β— β—   β€₯ β— β— β— β— β— β— β— β— β— β— β— 
                                β–³       BALL SMASHES LIGHT                        β¬†      β€₯                              
                           β–³               🎯                            β¬†           …        β¬‡       β†˜
                      β–³                                             ⬈                 …
                 β–³                     ⬆                   ⬈                        β€¦          β¬‡            β†˜ 
                                                             β¬ˆ
             β–³                    β¬†              β¬ˆ                                 …             β¬‡                       β†˜
                                                 β¬ˆ                                     …
        β–³                    β¬†         ⬈                                                         ⬇                             …            
                                          ⬈                                         …
  β–³                     ⬆       ⬈                                         ↩                                                  β€“                                           
                                  ⬈                                         ↙                  "OH S--T!"
β–³                  πŸ˜Ž                                        πŸ™                                πŸ˜Ÿ                        πŸ˜
β–³         
        STUD BATTER HITS BALL               FIELDER 1                        FIELDER 2               FIELDER 3
       BROKE BULB - RUN AWAY               DROPS GLOVE & PRAYS            POOPS, BALL HITS HEAD    CLOSES EYES, GETS BALL                     
                                                                                                                       
πŸ˜Ίβ–ƒβ–ƒβ–ƒβ–ƒβ–ƒβ–ƒβ–ƒβ–ƒβ–ƒβ–ƒβ–ƒβ–ƒβ–ƒβ–ƒβ–ƒβ–ƒβ–ƒβ–ƒβ–ƒβ–ƒβ–ƒβ–ƒβ–ƒβ–ƒβ–ƒβ–ƒβ–ƒβ–ƒβ–ƒβ–ƒβ–ƒβ–ƒβ–ƒβ–ƒβ–ƒβ–ƒ 🚷  πŸš‚  



EARLIER BLOGS ON DOMEBALL CAN BE FOUND BY CLICKING OLDER POSTS BELOW ON RIGHT.

SCALLIONS DISCLAIMER: READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. KEEP IN MIND THAT SCALLIONS BLOGS ARE ALWAYS A MIX OF ALTERNATIVE FACTS & FICTION, TRUTH & LIES, SATIRE & SICK HUMOR!! MATERIAL MAY NOT BE SUITABLE FOR ALL AGES!

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home