Saturday, March 23, 2019

MELATONIN MEL -- THE GOOD, THE BAD, & THE UGLY!


My loving bride of 48 years, call her Nurse Ratched*, and daughter clone who lives close by have determined to keep me in bed longer at night. They fret that I get up too early. That's abnormal, according to them.

So the do-gooder duo decided that I should get on Melatonin, the magic sleepy time pill providing a good nights sleep. I call it Mel.                                                                                                    

Mel for me has been the good, the bad, and the ugly. Not quite what my two handlers had suggested.

So here are the results after shacking up with Mel for a month:

The Good Mel: One night I woke laughing hysterically about being at a church function with old friends. The church ladies were the same young ladies I knew from years ago, except they were sporting varying shades of gray hair. It was fun until I started getting frisky with them. Lucky for me a great guy friend from the group whisked me away from the thundering heard of senescent females in his Subaru Outback.


Bad Mel: Meetings with my Maker discussing the past, present, and future. It was strongly encouraged to make a five year plan, that I needed to see if I could do better than the first 75. "So what's in it for me," I questioned honestly. Vague response was there is no extended warranty after 75.


Ugly Mel: I was selected in a nationwide drawing to be a special consultant to George W. Bush and Laura for a one year. Why me Lord? After 9/11 he was my hero chasing bad guys in Afghanistan. Hero worship?  That stopped when W decided to stop over in Iraq to fix the Middle East.


FUTURE OF MEL AND ME ???-  MAYBE I SHOULD STOP FLIRTING WITH OLDER CHICS, UP MY CHURCH PLEDGE, OR VOTE STRAIGHT DEMOCRAT. YET, MAYBE I'LL TRY A GLASS OF RED WINE AND/OR CANNABIS BEFORE  BED!!



Nurse Ratched*: In the 1975 Movie, One Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest, Nurse Ratched was a pill pusher in a mental institution which Jack Nicholson was incarcerated. Nurse Ratched, played by Louise Fletcher. A rare sweep in the Academy Awards -- the movie cleaned up on all 5 major Academy Awards plus many others. A classic!!

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